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  • Writer's picturestrykerk2

A Letter to those I Leave Behind

This post is coming to you during my last days in the good 'ol U S of A. I'm feeling a slew of emotions both happy and sad. It's extremely difficult to explain what I'm currently feeling about my visit home and going back. How can somebody feel happy and sad at the same time? As a writer, I tried to describe this strange emotion the best I could:

Most people are lucky to have one beautiful life surrounded by radiant people. But me, I have two lives filled to brim with such people. And for the past year and a half or so, I’ve managed to slip effortlessly back and forth between lives. Plunging back into each and picking up where I left off. But I realize now that the “unattended life”, if you will, is not frozen in time. That life, my life, is continuing on without me. People are growing, laughing, changing, in my absence. My very presence in one place means my absence in the other. There’s a void that can never be filled because my heart will never be in one place again. So I have to wonder, am I the lucky one, or are you?

I had such an incredible time at home. Really, if they could somehow bottle that feeling of hugging your mom after not seeing her for a year, or meeting your niece for the first time months after her birth, they'd make some serious cash. This time around I got to see so many people I love. I guess the good thing about always having a gigantic hourglass floating above your head is that the time that you do have with the people you love is that much more valuable. The visits I had with friends and family meant the world to me. I did so much shopping at my favorite stores that don't exist in Chile, ate all that comfort food, went ice-skating and killed it at paintball (which was a bucket-list item of mine). I snuggled with my beloved furry friends, played in the snow, ate 4 jars of pickles and visited Strykers Cafe.

^^ I love her more than it's possible

Highlights of my trip (besides the obvious ones):

  • Rocking my niece in my arms and singing her to sleep (which few are able to accomplish I might add)

  • Reuniting with my college family (some whom I haven't seen in years)

  • Seeing Theodore my best friend after not seeing him for 2 years ( I cried upon his arrival and departure)

  • Watching León run around like a mad-man in the snow for the first time

  • Riding our new horse Becca (even though I'm still heartbroken over Thunder)

  • Driving my car after a year of taking Uber

  • Hearing that my 88 year-old Godfather (my actual favorite person on the earth) is doing better than he has been in years

  • Watching arguably one of the best Superbowls ever with loved ones

  • Managing to get León into the U.S.


^^ Seriously, he just celebrated his 88th birthday!

If theres one thing I want anyone reading this to know, is how hard it is to say goodbye. It never gets easier. My dreams are currently elsewhere though, and your unconditional love is literally my fuel.

It's back to Chile to start the school year quick and then I'm jetting off to India for 2 weeks. Then this gypsy-soul will stay put for a bit to rest and replenish the bank account. PS Galápagos post is in the works.

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